Early morning
5 a m
Feel her coming
She's here again.

She came to say hello
You came to ask why
She came in bright yellow
You came in goodbye

She wants to know
What its like
To hate yourself
Before you fall asleep at night.

She wants to know
What its like
To live amongst the rest
And feel so alone.

She wants to know
What is it like?

And at some point
You will have to answer her.
You will bare it all

You will have to tell her
Why you hate yourself before you fall asleep at night
And why you are so alone
And why you cant stop.

Why you cant stop
Why you cant stop
Why you cant stop
Why cant you stop
Why cant you stop
Why cant you just fucking stop?

In dreams

I was running out of a house, in a panic. And then I stopped abruptly, as my feet became stone. I reached out to the young man running next to me and he too was turning, yet he wa unafraid. The stone crept fast and silently and I watched myself as the expression of terror became permanently etched upon my face. I fought it. It was so vivid I could even see the stone crumble as I batted my lashes and some fell to the ground. The struggle was in vain however and my eyes were the last to turn. Then I woke up. Terror still etched on my face.

Tonight tonight

God damnit. I'm so lonely.

I found a way to stare at the sun with naked eyes. When you are driving fast, on an empty highway past a multitude of trees, you can see the sun perfectly through their branches, and it's beautiful. But the trees can't be too thick or too thin and the sun can't be too high or too low. Thus you must have good timing. In fact, you must have perfect timing.

Reach

the far reaches are reaching back for you.

It is the internal itch you cannot scratch,
It is the hunger inside you
It is the desire for all your dreams to hatch
It is the restlessness in moments before they do
It is the hope of all return
It is the reason why you are.
It is the place where passion churns
It is the fall before the scar.
It is the reach you extend so far, out of faith, in the dark.
It is for all these reasons
That you only feel,
That you know you have a purpose
That you know God is real.

The moonlit path

When you walk that moonlit path
Will you retreat from the dark?
Or never come back?

Beauty

"Beauty is life when life unveils her holy face.
But you are life and you are the veil.
Beauty is an eternity gazing at itself in the mirror.
But you are eternity and you are the mirror."
-The Prophet

THIS is why I write:

To relive the joy
To ease the pain
To materialize the thought
To find the spark
To light the flame
To fire my heart
To feel alive
To feel at all
To scream my diary
To answer my call
To talk to God
To speak the truth
To capture the moments of my youth
To let it go
To keep hanging on
To find some right in all the wrong
I do NOT write to censor or to please
I write for me and only me, no matter how beautiful or ugly it may be.
Toning it down I will never do, I will lose control today tomorrow and the days after them too.

art as of late