Pain and love and im bored at work.

What is true love with out memories of sorrow?
Let the past hold the light for the steps ahead
Heartache today for the betterment of tomorrow
But One could replace pain and love to be numb instead
For pain and love walk inches apart
Where one fades away the other is sure to start.
Choose them both simultaneously or neither will surface
But know that behind them both lies signifigant purpose.

Time to Recognize

,There are systems in place for essentially every single living thing that graces the earth. For every leaf there is an intricate highway of vessels, each one pumping life to and fro, birthing and dying all at once, organized and objectively. And inside every vessel, are more intricate processes, doing the same thing on a smaller scale. For every vessel there are cells, each one flowing along in perfect harmony, providing means for life and caring not that their work is a part of a much bigger, grander, beautiful picture. The same truth is relevant even so for the contents that lie inside each cell, of every vessel, of every leaf. The nucleus, the ribosomes, the vacuole ect. all tick and tock for the purpose of the life of a single leaf, absolutely everything else in this world, and perhaps the universe. As one finds himself in nature, (everyone should at some point in their lives find themselves in nature) intaking the subjects of the earth, whatever they may be, will he recognize the importance of it all? Will he see not just the colors of the element, but the infinite parts that make up the whole? Will he appreciate what he cannot see, as it is capable of being beautiful just the same as what he can? perhaps it is too much to ask, too heavy a concept for a simple mind, but if everyone could see the beauty I see... if everyone could lose but just one breath in awe of the details of the world one time, they would understand. They would believe in the things they cannot see, and feel the things they cannot touch. They would know there is a God, and account for the wonders he created if only it be a blade of grass. Life of the universe is full of detail, fleeting but ceaseless, wonderful, and dependent on every single speck.

Bend in The Road

    A few days in and here I am again, sitting in front of the same computer, typing on the same keys, breathing the same air. But this time the words that appear on this otherwise empty space hold some light behind them. As if before they did not, as if before this letter they were hollow and dark and ending.
This is the end of that depressing, sad, life ending, soul dying world that I have walked around in for the past months; this is the bend in the road. Things do get better, we have to believe that when the world has turned its back on us and the colors fade to gray, things will get better. Life is merely a cycle. We are essentially surrounded by endless amounts of circles with time being the catalyst of it all. The cycle of life and death, of good and bad, of summer and winter, of love and hate. The patterns that are repeated in nature are the same as those repeated in our lives, our bodies, and everything in between. Circles.
    Life, in every sense of the word is just a cycle, and when we get through those moments of despair still alive and breathing, the reward is promising, beautiful and untouched.  The end of one chapter is only the beginning of the next because really, there is no end, because every end is a new beginning and the cycles go on forever.- ( read Self Reliance, Emerson) I am a believer in infinity and I am a believer in love, does this make me an idealist? Maybe. Does this mean ever-lasting love is fathomable? Maybe. But for the past few days my life really has been 'ideal' and for some reason I cannot and will not accept an end to this journey, so what can I do but believe in the moments that make it wonderful? Each day of happiness was worth a year of pain, and in this second I am lucky to have experienced them both, and wise enough to appreciate the events that led up to this profound joy.
    So this is the part where I tell you what exactly it is that has brought a smile to my face, what has changed everything so suddenly...well, it's simple. It's pure. And it's lasting... its love. And for the first time, its real.

explosions

Over and over and over and I feel like an old, used up broken record.
The rotten scum somehow always rises from the bottom and makes its way to the top, engulfing everything in its path. But what have I done to stop it?
flicker to flame,
flame to fire,
fire to explosion,
explosion to fire,
fire to flame,
flame to flicker,
flicker to flame,
flame to fire,
fire to explosion,
explosion to fire,
fire to flame,
flame to flicker,
flicker to flame,
flame to fire,
fire to explosion,
explosion to fire,
fire to flame,
flame to flicker,

its gonna hurt.
but the cycle has to stop.
because in the end, the light goes out
and I cannot remember what it looked like in the first place.
must've been illusions all along.