With so many to choose from, how does one know for certain that their belief is truth?
There is a chance that we are all wrong, there is a chance that we simply turn to dust after our hearts have stopped beating; there is no after life; we are here and then one day we are not.
But what if there is? And how should we prepare for it?
These things I ponder in my sheets at night, when no one is around to listen to my thoughts... when I find myself alone inside my head.
A few days ago however I had a revelation, an epiphany some would call it.
This thought came into my mind at a time that I least expected it to; maybe it stemmed from desperation, or the cracks in my heart. Maybe it was God himself who sent it to me.
Either way, what I stumbled upon was something truly profound: a reason to believe.
Maybe I am not the first to find this out, but I found these reasonings myself, therefore I hold it sacred.
He rested his head on my lap as i ran my fingers through his hair. By now I have seen every freckel, every shadow of perfection and every wrinkle on his face.
We said nothing, but we were thinking the same thought. It hovered above us for hours that day, the simple understanding that what we had was gone, and that even together we were both alone.
We know the feeling of love, and what it was like to love one another so blindly... maybe that is why it was so hard to let go.
We were both afraid of falling, but there was nothing left to hold on too. With every hate filled word that exited our mouths and entered our souls we broke a little bit more inside, until one day, the peices were swept under the rug and made to collect follicles of dead skin and fibers in the air that no one really sees or cares about.
Yet it was in this defining moment, as i slid my fingers through his curls and felt the salty tears run down his face, that I found the evidence of Gods existance I had been searching so restlessly for.
Love.
The pure, wonderful and tangible notion of love, is enough for me to believe in a higher power.
Love is something metaphysical, something we cannot smell, or touch, or see. It is complex in every way, we do not choose who we "fall in love" with and who we do not.
But one day, when we least expect it, we meet a person that is different from every other person we have interacted with, and immense feelings overcome us, that we can not control, and can not explain, but we enjoy it nonetheless. Every single second of it.
Love is something mankind can not create, and certainly something no matter how hard we try, can not destroy.
It is not scientifically explainable, and holds no secret code we can write down and repeat, but we have all felt it at one point or another and know that it does in fact exist, with out a sliver of doubt we do believe in love.
Why do I hold this as proof that God exists?
Because I have to believe in something.
Because otherwise, everything I have done in this life, everything that you and I have worked for has been in vain.
I have to, in order to hold human life as sacred and important, believe that we were put on this earth for something else than to live and die.
Love my friends, is the proof that we are not alone.
Every good thing, every act of kindness, every shred of light in this dark world is all made possible because God has given us the single most wonderful thing in this entire world.
Love.
Though it strikes me as odd that I found this theory at a moment when love had collapsed in my life, when depression and heartbreak had overrun my thoughts and left me dead and alone, it helps to believe that maybe God knew I would find comfort in knowing he is with me.
That even through our darkest hours, we can find him.
We can know love.
